i am rhonel

This blog shares my sacred journey through tragedy.  I was called for audacious hope whilst grieving a living loss.  And I had to choose – will I be better or bitter? 

Hope…a word we use with so much familiarity. In everyday language we almost diminish it to something out of our control, a chance happening. “I can only hope it works out”. Or “I hope you feel better soon”. I realise I too have started viewing hope as an intangible, a place that only a select few gets to visit.  Something I believe in, but remains out of my reach. And as time passed and hope became more and more unfamiliar the fear of a hopeless end remained the only reality.

“What if she pass away?” “ What if I loose a loved one, or  have to go through a similar journey of brain injury and living loss.?” This fear slowly infiltrated my every observation… I hooked onto every news article dealing with daily accidents, trauma and loss. Confirming my every fear. The hopelessness it evoked left me with angst and an urgency to flee. I just wanted to get away. Away from the realness of everyday. Away from pain and suffering. Away from deeper connections and full commitment to life. I sensed myself becoming a robotic participant in life without allowing the vulnerability that immersion in life brings.

This was not how I wanted to be in life. I longed for hope to truly become mine. And the only way I could find it was at the feet of the One who promises this to us. Does he not say that he has plans for me of good and not evil, of a future and a HOPE. And this HOPE He offers is truly endless. It has no boundaries, no limitations, no restrictions, no time. It is for now, today, tomorrow and ever and ever.

I rested in this knowledge. Slowly opening the hard shell of self-protection I found myself in. I now know that hope isn’t a place I can go and visit. It’s a state of being. Hope is full immersion of Love into your heart. Hope is vulnerable, hope is strong, hope is energising, hope is courageous and audacious.

I hope that Hope will truly also become your companion and friend. May your hope be endless and endlessly connected in Him who gifts this sacred ability.

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