i am rhonel

This blog shares my sacred journey through tragedy.  I was called for audacious hope whilst grieving a living loss.  And I had to choose – will I be better or bitter? 

Serenity: The state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled…

It’s been a while since I felt serenity…I crave it but it seems constantly out of reach. I am at war with life; wearing my armour ready for every and any obstacle coming my way.

This past couple of months have been challenging; surgery and recovery for myself; a hospital stay with pneumonia for Juneldè; emotional hurdles; spiritual deficiency; a toddler who craves my company a few times every night😋; running and racing on a daily hamster wheel…

I am sure you can relate. Your reality might look different; your specific challenges unknown to me but very real to you. Truly – when last did you feel serenity?

In a cool mountain forest at the Graskop Gorge – after a 51m drop against the cliff side (in a glass walled lift at least) I found serenity – or rather a new perspective on it. With every step I took along the forest trails – along elevated walkways, suspension bridges and tranquil streams – I managed to breathe deeper, and every breath became a life force of peace, insight and surrender. Interactive exhibits with wisdom and tidbits of knowledge lead the way towards the 70m plummeting waterfall of the Panorama Gorge.  In awe at this breathtaking phenomena I realised- this is what I want to be for my family. Instead of focusing on my own troubles I want to be a place of serenity for them. I want to be their enchanting forest of peace, protection from a tough world, a place where they can breathe a little deeper, think a little clearer and feel safe.

As I traveled upwards in the lift back towards reality my heart wrote its own serenity prayer:

God grant me the serenity to get out of my head and into my family’s life.

God grant me the serenity to convey peace, love, enchantment and awe with every motherly touch.

God grant me serenity with every spoken word and unfiltered thought as wife, companion and champion of my husband.

God grant me the serenity to become my family’s indigenous forest of wisdom; knowledge and insight.

God grant me the serenity to surrender, hope, love and believe…

To you I pray

Amen

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